Indecent exposure
by Darkflameangel
Summary: In Suna, going without underwear can be risky business


Title: Indecent Exposure

Fandom: Naruto

Characters: Kankuro, Gaara, Temari, Sakura, Naruto

Rating:….PG-13 (cause Kankuro has a potty mouth)

Word count: 1,159

Summary: In Suna, going without underwear can be risky business.

Disclaimer: Don't own it…Just like to torture the characters.

* * *

After taking another dive in the sand to avoid the barrage of weapons, Kankuro really regretted putting on underwear that morning and accepting the mission to help a bunch of genins with their weapons training. But right at the moment, he mostly just regretted the underwear.

_Fucking sand. Gets in everything. I don't know how Gaara stands it—kid is fucking surrounded in the shit. ….Probably has underwear made out of the stuff. All the chaffing is probably what makes him so uptight._

_Fucking kids and their piss poor aim. Fucking Gaara for making me train the inept little shits. Why the fuck do I have to deal with the kiddies? Can't Temari deal with this shit? She has girl genes after all. If I didn't have to deal with these fucking kids, I wouldn't be digging sand out of places sand should never be in._

Ten minutes later, after having had to hit the ground for the fifth time, Kankuro decided that he had had enough and told the genins to head home with very explicit and colorful orders on what they were to do with their weapons training. Gaara was probably going to have his ass for it, but Kankuro really didn't give a crap by that point in time. All he really wanted was a nice shower and a pair of non-sand filled underwear that weren't rubbing very important parts raw.

Bending over to pick up Karasu, the sand in his underwear grated over some very important areas of his anatomy, which confirmed Kankuro's theory that sand chaffing is what made his brother so uptight. (The other option was that Gaara didn't wear underwear at all and was just a prick by nature).

--

The next day after examining the raw skin on the inside of his thigh, Kankuro decided that he was going to just forgo the whole underwear idea. No one would know, and as a skilled ninja, he really didn't have to worry about ripping his pants on anything.

Besides, he didn't have to work with the brats that day and all that was on the docket was just a meeting with the leaf ambassadors, which for the day happened to be Naruto and Sakura. Kankuro wasn't sure why Naruto had been sent with Sakura to the meeting instead of Shikamaru, but his brother was friends with the kid, so he really didn't have a problem.

After Sakura had saved his life, Kankuro had to admit that he was glad that Sakura was playing what amounted to a glorified letter carrier for the Hokage. The kunoichi was attractive, and she had enough of a temper that even Gaara knew not to press certain issues with her. On top of that, his sister respected Sakura as an opponent—something very rare. All of which were qualities that he found admirable in a woman. At any rate, Kankuro was slightly excited to see her again and thank her for saving his sorry ass.

--

Kankuro was pretty sure that the meeting couldn't be any more boring. He was glad that the torture was finally over. It would have been better if it would have ended about five minutes after it had started, but there wasn't much that he could do about that unless he could some how manage off the council members. Since that would land him a happy seat in Suna's fine penitentiary, he figured that sucking it up would be the best option. It could be worse; at least he didn't have sand in his underwear right then.

Unfortunately, due to some unforeseen circumstances, Naruto and Sakura had to return to Konoha after the meeting instead of the next day as had been planned. Since Kankuro couldn't take Sakura to a thank you for saving my ass lunch, he figured the least he could do would be to accompany his siblings and their guests to the Suna gates. Kankuro figured maybe he could give Sakura a hug and whisper a quick thank you in her ear in the process. He briefly considered trying to cop a feel, but that plan was thrown out the window as quickly as it was conceived. (He wanted Sakura to like him, not like to rip him limb from limb).

Unfortunately, Kankuro forgot to factor one Uzamaki Naruto into the plan.

Just as he moved to go thank Sakura, Naruto slipped behind Kankuro and jerked the puppet nin's pants down, which would have been an amusing gag if Kankuro had been wearing underwear. Instead, it was one of those train wrecks that you absolutely can't tear your eyes away from no matter how you want to.

With all of the grace that only ninjas possess, Kankuro stopped his forward tumble to the ground. After he straightened up, Kankuro wished that he would have hit the ground. It would have saved him from at least part of the mortification. It didn't matter how fast he pulled his pants back up, the damage had already been done by that point.

Sakura was standing across from him wide-eyed with her mouth open, Gaara was impassive as usual—although he did have some sort of strange mouth spasm going on, Temari was biting her hand to choke back the snickers, and Naruto was rolling around on the ground howling in laughter.

When Sakura finally shook herself from her fascinated stupor, she ever so subtly booted Naruto in the head, which sent him flying into one of Suna's outer walls with a bone breaking crash. Sakura quickly stuttered out an apology to Kankuro, who by this time was almost a purple with embarrassment; grabbed Naruto by the foot, and hightailed it out of the village.

After the dust cleared, Gaara turned to the now outright laughing Temari with a smirk on his face.

"Temari. Isn't there a law about public indecency?"

"You know, I think there is."

"Temari, would you mind serving Kankuro with a fine for indecency and posting this photo of the occasion in Jounin headquarters?"

"Sure thing, Kazekage-sama. This is what he gets for not wearing underwear."

Kankuro, by this time, had collected himself enough to choke out and indignant "Oi!"

"Wait a minute! Gaara doesn't wear underwear and he doesn't get in trouble!"

Gaara, who had by this time begun to head back to his office, kept walking, but not without countering Kankuro's complaint with a "Yes, but I'm Kazekage and I wasn't the one who just flashed the Leaf ambassador."

Before following Gaara back to the tower, Temari wrapped her arm around Kankuro's shoulders and reminded him the next time that he wanted to thank a pretty girl, that he might want to not show her "little Kankuro" first unless he wanted her to die laughing.

--

Kankuro spent the rest of the day trying to devise a way to sand proof his pants. There was no way that he was going without underwear when Naruto was around.


End file.
